What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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A gay man watches football.

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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hiya

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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