What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops