Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

9/11

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...