What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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