Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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