What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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