Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Chlamydia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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