Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

What fires shots? A gun

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...