Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Smelly Indians.

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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