Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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you just read an anti-joke

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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