What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Your life

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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WILLY

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops