Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Hey Shea

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kkkk

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops