knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops