Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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People...

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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