A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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swag

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops