Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

poop.

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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