Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops