What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops