Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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