Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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