whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Women's Rights

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops