Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

if you don't like this you're gay

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

hi

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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