My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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The Colts this year.

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the NAACP

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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