why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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kathryn atkins

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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