A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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