Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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I <3 Hitler

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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