What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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