Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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I <3 Hitler

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops