Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Maths.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Women's professional sports

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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