Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Penis-biter

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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What? Huh?

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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