What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

Roses are red, yup.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

Uh... What was emulating again?

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

CAVE JOHNSON.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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