School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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AIDS

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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