Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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whats up and also down? your mum

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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