Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops