Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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