Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

thumb_up thumb_down -27

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops