If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

What is 9+10? 19

Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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