You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Jordan is pregant

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Okay.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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