Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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denisssssssssssssss

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops