Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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the holocaust

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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69

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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