What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

A lot eh?

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Justin Bieber.

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...