How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops