stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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