How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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