i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

drew edminstin is a rat

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

If you're happy and you know it get a life

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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