Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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V I T A M I N C !

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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