Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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PICKLES

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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I'm rick james bitch

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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THE GAME

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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