Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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