Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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thomas!!!!

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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No it doesnt..

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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