Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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