Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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